I should post

I have nothing in particular to post about. I am so tired. I am drowning in school work and house work with no end in sight for either of them. I am ready to burn all of my possessions (excluding books and movies of course) and live a life of meditative debauchery, reading only what I choose (right now that would be the so-far-quite-excellent Kavalier and Clay which I am swimming through slowly and with much interruption thanks to grad school demands). I feel vaguely unequipped to deal with the current bout of assigned readings which are basically shouting, "Stop, white teacher! Stop oppressing your students with English!" in very loud voices. Apparently any anglo teacher (we are, after all, all the same) is either malignantly trying to oppress students of Mexican origin or deluding themselves into thinking they are helping students by teaching them English, when really they are teaching so poorly that students have no future job prospects above minimum wage. AARGH!

On a lighter note, I have - after many years of not thinking about it at all - discovered the mysterious appeal of The Bridges of Madison County. A middle-aged woman with two lovely children and a reliable husband finds passion and that sexual je ne sais quoi in a drifter who pledges to love her from afar for the rest of his life. She gets this great sexual transformation, a beautiful unsatisfied longing, and a new secret identity (as it were) and she doesn't have to "burn her bridges" to her husband and children. All that hard work of making a family and creating a home remain unblemished by her escapades, which fuel her fantasy life and self-esteem for the duration. She cunningly managed to have her cake and eat it, too.

Here endeth the lesson.

Hurray!

Welcome to the Blogosphere Nanette!

Friday 5

5 things that are such a big part of my life, I can't believe someone else introduced me to them.

1. My first inclination here was to try to think of books that have changed my life and who was responsible for introducing me to them. In that light, #1 has to go to
The Hobbit - for which my mother deserves credit. While not a fan of reading or eduction herself, she loved the animated movie, and she went right out and bought the largest illustrated version and also the record set of the movie soundtrack (no such things as home VCR's yet). Every book I self-selected in my lonely 6th grade year (LOTR, Watership Down, The Crystal Cave series, The Once and Future King, Dr. Dolittle series, among others) can be traced back to my desire to read more material like The Hobbit.

2. Comic Books - the honor of this referral has to go to Scotty Wilhelm. There is no bookstore in Vernon, but he received somewhere between 20 and 30 titles (I think) per month in the mail. While I am no expert in the field, I owe my fairly decent foundation to his collection which included: Captain America, X-Men, three Spiderman titles, Excalibur, Batman, Groo the Wanderer, Wolverine (when it started), Daredevil, and others. Whenever I write a new grad school paper about comics in the classroom, it makes me laugh a little to think that if he hadn't been also so obsessed with video games, I might never have been ignored enough while at his house to read everything he had.

3. Travel - my first travel out of the country was at age 19 with Sunil Tankha to India. I became addicted to travel, but I wonder if I ever would have worked so hard to go if he hadn't a)wanted me to desperately and b) annoyed my parents so. It was an irresistable combination that led me to trust my safety to a hot-headed, slightly misogynist, highly intelligent egomaniac that thought I hung the moon.

4. Movies - while I definitely saw movies before I met Will, I've never watched them in quite the same way since. I also don't think I took as much of an interest in all the sorts of movies that were coming out. Growing up in Vernon and W.F. really only provided access to the blockbusters.

5. R.E.M. and alternative music in general goes to Andrew Wright. My first boyfriend and now an Episcopal priest. He was in college while I was in High School in Vernon, and, well, I think we have established what the cultural resources in Vernon were like.

I like to think that I would have naturally gravitated to all of these things on my own, eventually, but in reality, I am not so sure, and some of them were probably time-sensitive. Had I not been introduced to them at that time I might not have been interested at all. As I typed, I thought of a few others that probably deserve mention (notably Melissa for the blogosphere and Scott Ripley for Monty Python and the Holy Grail), so to everyone who has done me a good turn in making me who I am, I say "Thank You." I wouldn't have done it without you.

Other Friday fivers: Adam, Will, Chris, Gina, Colleen,
Dave, Melissa, Craig, Gord, and Adrienne

As promised

The link to Sarah Vowell's story about Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash.

Also a link to a very nice Salon article about Neil Gaiman.

The misgivings of memory

William was quick to inform me that I had no hand at all in his introduction to Heinlein, which I am willing to believe because a) It isn't worth arguing about and b) I can't recall the exact point in time when I may (or may not) have recommended Stranger in a Strange Land. As a matter of fact, it may just be that he was re-reading my copy of it, and I assumed he had not read it before. Although I thought I remembered asking him whether he had ever read it and receiving a blank look in response.

This failure of recall (on my part) is very annoying to me. This particular one especially because it seems to echo so closely my father-in-law's recent claim that he gave Will "a good talkin-to" about living in Vernon which prompted us to move away after only a few months. We actually moved to Vernon with the intention of staying only a short time (it turned out to be 4 months) to catch up on bills and were anxious to be back in Wichita Falls (where we both worked) almost the minute we moved in. It is so annoying to think that somebody else thinks they have directed your actions when it was only coincidence. Of course, now that I am on the other end of it, it is also disheartening to discover that you have not made the impact on someone's life that you may have previously given yourself credit for, however small an impact it was.

I guess it's bothersome because it has to do with Agency and Influence. Everyone is their own agent, (it is a free country, right?) yet in making decisions it is highly prized to wield influence over others and not be influenced yourself. Is it possible to be influenced and retain a certain standard of free agency? Of course it is, but I don't think it always feels like it. How often have you looked askance at somebody in unusual attire because you know they bought it after they saw it on MTV? Or been annoyed that someone at the table ordered what you were going to order before you got the chance to? Or refused to watch or read or listen to some movie, show, book, or band because they were "popular"?

It is an interesting dynamic because people make decisions for strange, complicated reasons, and then they defend their decisions in even stranger, simplified ways. Is the intellectual currency earned by looking down on Harry Potter (often without having read it!)worth the lost opportunity to enjoy the series? Does it matter very much whether I saw it first or only caught on after everyone else did? It certainly does in the creation of our personal narratives. Over these two little things Will's dad is not the same person he thought he was in our lives, and I am not exactly the same person I thought I was to Will.

Well fuck me

The heinlein book I belong in is:


You belong in the Cat Who Walks Through Walls. You
are creative and cunning. Your works often
feel empty to you, though others love them.
You suspect that the universe and everyone in
it are just characters in someone else's story.


Which Heinlein Book Should You Have Been A Character In?
brought to you by Quizilla

A bit surprising as Will and I have already decided that I am a character in Time Enough For Love, but this is the Heinlein novel that pulled me into the universe. I had read Stranger in a Strange Land , but remember it being fairly self-contained, and so I did not look further for R.H. work until I chanced across Cat. (Did I find it and pass it on to Will, or did I recommend Stranger to Will and he then found Cat? Probably the latter.) On reflection, a very appropriate choice for me as it ends in uncertainty and dread. I wonder what quizilla would spit out as my favorite Star wars movie?

A few of my favorite things

Sarah Vowell had a beautiful piece on This American Life about Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash - the romance of the century. I'll repost the link when they have the audio file up.

I have newly discovered (bear with me, I'm a late bloomer in the internet arena) Fresh Air archived broadcasts on the internet. I totally love it because I never seem to catch an entire program, or if I do, I often don't remember what is said well enough to quote it.

I am also considering joining the Mythopoeic society, which describes itself as "a non-profit international literary and educational organization for the study, discussion, and enjoyment of fantasy and mythic literature, especially the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and Charles Williams. Members of the Mythopoeic Society include scholars, writers, and readers of mythic and fantasy literature." Sounds right up my alley.

At the Austin City Limits Festival, I couldn't help being a little sad in remebrance of SRV, a legend in his own time and much missed beyond it.

Banned Books Week

Next week is banned books week, so why not curl up with a good controversy. This week, I'll read Maurice Sendak's In the Night Kitchen to the kids and Lois Lowry's The Giver for myself. They made the list of the 100 most challenged books of the 90's. I'm still reading around to choose an officially banned book. Any suggestions?

Seems ruefully familiar

NPR links

An interesting interview with Neil Gaiman on NPR that broadly proclaims he is "well known in many subcultures" which made me smile for some undefinable reason. Also the interview with the now infamous A.B. that prompted me to poetry as it followed so closely on the heels of a dream of mine in which several strange things happened, being 1) I remembered the dream - highly unusual 2) I myself appeared in the dream (rather than some other person with whom I identified) - even more unusual and 3) A.B. appeared in the dream - a man whom I have never seen in any film, but only seen his academy award acceptance speech - utterly bizarre. I think the overload of so many unusual things occuring in my dream woke me up, so, unfortunately, I don't have any hot details to relate, although I do remember mentioning Yo Yo Ma's name for some reason. I think he was interviewed on KUT a few days before. Huh.

It seems that NPR is both inspiring my dreams and then altering its programming to support them after they have happened. My guilt in listening without pledging has now gone up by a factor of 3 (being a nice number that appeals to everyone's sensibilities.) I am thinking I should either pledge to KUT now ( even though they don't broadcast the Diane Rehmes Show), or resolve never to blog after eating only pretzel sticks all day and then downing a shot of amaretto.

Thinking instead of working

Instead of cleaning my house for impending company, or looking up research topics for impending projects, or reading for impending classes, or even showering for the impending arrival of my husband home from work, I'm thinking...

Shouldn't there be "choose your own adventure" porn? Who wouldn't like this?

Seriously, people, I need feedback.

More on the Morning Improv

Apparently, scott is aware of Talk Like a Pirate Day as well.

Neil Gaiman does my thinking for me

I read Scott McCloud's daily improve..well, daily, but I didn't think to link to this one, which I thought was particularly beautiful and sad and took a lot of explaining to Merlin, because, well, you all read the same things I do on the web, right? When I saw it linked on NGs site, I thought, "Huh, what a good idea."

Friday 5

(In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day): What be yer favorite ports o' call? Where would ye want to hoist a mug'o'rum, were ye given a large pile 'o' booty to finance yer stay?
Topic commandeered from Cap'n Black Sam Flint.

Other mutineers: Captain William Bonney, Dirty Davy Kidd, Captain Bess Read, Colleen, Chris, and Dirty Anne Flint,and a hearty welcome to our newest conscript, Craig.


I presume on'y to be speaken of ports with which I be sommat familiar. Many others call me, but these few I know I'd brave the envy o'the sea to set foot upon.

1. Tintagel - mystery and mysticism preserved in the air 1500 years later
2. Prague - it's fuckin' Brigadoon, the only ancient European city spared by the Nazis
3. Benares - demonstrates the only fit way to pass through to the afterlife
4. Dingle Peninsula - the sea at its churning coldest and the land at its coldest green- profoundly lonely and beautiful
5. Oxford - ale and books, books and ale. I'll be the woman, if you'll provide the song. What more is needed in life? Really?


Most courteously submitted by

Iron Charity Bonney

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you are that person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Find your pirate name at Fidius

My poem for Adrien Brody

Under pressure from the No. 1 Ladies Writing Circle (which was established last week and consists of me, Melissa and Alec) I am posting the first fruits. (Think of it as a sacrifice to the writing god/patrons of the blogosphere.)

Adrien Brody Would You Please Go Now

I am
a thirty-year-old
mother of two
happily married
graduate student

remodeling my house
training my puppy
negotiating my identity
crafting my life

I have no time for sleep
much less time for sleep
interrupted

Take your charmingly boyish maturity
and fragile strength
and go haunt somebody else.

What have I done?

I am taking 9 hours of graduate course work and wondering how long it will take to turn me stark-raving mad. Read and get smart, read and get smart, that's all these professors want you to do all day is read and get smart... and research...on the topic of your choice. I don't have time to come up with a topic and all my imagination is wasted on trying to answer Gavin's continuous stream of questions about what common objects mean. I honestly don't know the answer to "What does rabbit mean?" You either know one when you see one, or not.

Today I missed a meeting with one of my profs because a) I totally forgot about it and b) I fell asleep reading a very academic account of why teaching literature in schools still matters. I wasted all of my "time off" while the kids were in school taping the new wall we built in the garage two weeks ago and rearranging the family room while wondering if it was really wise to send Will into the attic to run wires when he still had the stitches in his hand from being cut by the metal framing we used to build the wall.

On Thursday I am looking forward to driving my children six hours (each way) to spend the weekend with my parents so I can go to the Austin City Limits fest in relative peace. On Monday, I will drive another six hours (each way) to bring them back. In the three days in between, you may expect to find me enjoying some great music, with or without my little dog, and probably reading some damned book or another in between shows I want to see.

Friday 5

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion,
butcher
a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance
accounts,
build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders,
cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch
manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die
gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
- Robert A. Heinlein

Topic courtesy of Melissa, other participants:
Gina, Adam, Dave, Will, Chris, and Colleen

In my opinion, a human being should be able to:

1. Entertain a child for at least 3 hours (your own and others)
2. Train a dog (at the very least to be a loving companion and friendly to new people)
3. Cook a "company" meal. (You may only know one recipe, but if it is good, that is enough)
4. Change a tire.
5. Assess the safety (risk) of any situation in which they may find themselves.

Wimpy male dancers

Apparently, the prima donna male soloists that make up the Bolshoi Theatre's prestigious dance company do not have the strength to perform with a real woman.

Friday 5

What are your top 5 El Guapo's?
"I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large ugly man who wants to kill us!"
- Lucky Day from the Three Amigos
Topic suggested by Dave


1. Ambivalance - I'd like to do that, it would be fun, oh, actually, I'm kind of tired, but maybe I'll feel better when we get there, but I could use this time for something else, or I could sleep, actually, i don't feel much like doing that - or anything else, but then again, I'm kind of bored.... this can continue for up to an hour, or until the opportunity window has closed, whichever comes first. I honestly do not care what i do a great deal of the time because it all sounds potentially interesting.

2. Indecision - a corollary of the first. Do any of our decisions really matter, anyway, in this infinitesmal speck of time that we occupy our bodies on this earth?

3. The house - we are locked in an epic battle- to the pain. I think it is winning because just as I complete one house project, the list expands to take up the rest of my mental and physical energy, sapping me of my life force. Plus it hides things from me.

4. my parents - I would like to see them happy and healthy and have an adult relationship with each of them. This will probably never be. Or, perhaps, it will ever be imperfect - which may not be so different from what everyone else has. But they are among the few in this world that I have granted the power to hurt me, and they abuse that privilege (mostly unwittingly, I think.)

5. my children- I wonder sometimes if they aren't good-naturedly trying to consume me the way baby spiders do their mothers. There are several aspects of my personality that make me not quite right for child-rearing, and while they are usually outweighed by my love, patience, and genuine interest in my children, I have come to the sad realization that I, like so many others, am not going to change. We won't eat lunch if I forget to make it by three, we don't go to bed until the children are so tired, they are begging to be put down, we don't fix hair, we forget to brush teeth and take a bath until it is too late, and we wear whatever we want (or nothing at all) regardless of the weather conditions. On the rare occasions I do lose my temper, it is not a pretty sight ( think Adam at his raging worst, only coming without warning from your pet bunny rabbit) I can be manipulative (like my mother) while also not giving a rat's ass (like my father), meaning I often give my kids the option of losing or losing. Ahh, parenting.

Thank God for William.