Upon watching the Olympic Ice Dancing Competition

The U.S. will never be truly competitive in this event until we allow full civil rights for homosexuals.

I like the nightlife, I like to boogie

So, tonight I am attending a high school dance as a chaparone. My wife teaches at the school and is in charge of the dance, which means I am giong to the dance as well.

This will be my first formal dance since my crowning high school achievement, the attending of six different proms with six different girls my senior year of high school. I was quite the prom expert by the end of it.

Tonight, I will have to listen to bad music sadly, but it will probably be the only dance my daughter attends where she will actgually want to dance with me instead of some evil person attempting to rip her love away from me.

Meet my babysitter: World of Warcraft

So, a few months ago I finally gave up on Star Wars Galaxies. They had altered the game one too many times for my liking, and I had grown frustrated and bored. Last week, I acquired World of Warcraft, which I have been enjoying a lot. I haved a little dwarf hunter guy that I really enjoy.

But my children demanded that they be allowed to create characters as well, so that they could interact with the world also. This same thing happened with Star Wars Galaxies when I first purchased it, but a few minutes after creating their character, they grew bored and never played the game again. Such has not been the case with WoW. They sat down and created their characters, Merlin has a female human mage (she likes magic, but does not like the idea of playing something other than a human) and my son created a Tauren Druid. (Taurens are minotaurs who behave like Native Americans, and druids can change into different animals.)

I walked the children through the character creation process, allowing them to pick the race, the class, what the character looks like and the characters name. Thinking that this would be all they wanted to do, I then tried to switch to my character. I was met with much moaning and gnashing of teeth and told that they would be playing the game. At this point, my son is almost as high a level as I am (which is not that high but means he plays the game as much as I do.)

Now, for several reasons, I always play with them. The character controls are complex and there is a lot of problem solving involved. Plus, many people from all over the world log into play, so I am also there as a screener of sorts.

But, they play the game, not me. They tell me where to go, what to do, who to talk to and what to say. I offer advice, which is usually rejected, but they are the brains behind the operation.

Now, if I could just figure out a way for us to all go adventuring together, then we would be having some fun.

An Open Letter to Whom It May Concern

I just want to be clear on one thing, especially after this Hardball segment regarding Coretta Scott King's funeral.

I expect, nay, demand that my funeral be turned into a stage for political activism.

Somewhere in between the playing of "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) and the attendees drawing on my casket in crayon, I hope someone will use my death to take one very public shot at the idiot conservatives who are messing with my country.

Pass out MoveOn petitions, give fiery speeches, let Adam discuss George W., Condi and Dick Cheney in the floweriest language he can muster. Raise money for a liberal cause, get in shouting matches with members of Fred Phelp's Church, implant my backbone into the Democratic party, anything.

Honor me by standing up and fighting back, honor me by moving the country one baby step in the right direction, honor me with words of justice, peace, and equality for all.

Or just piss off some conservatives just for the hell of it. That would be fine by me as well.