Have I linked something to my church? If not I need to. St. George Church It is a wonderful place.
For a long time I was extremely anti-church, not anti-spiritual, just anti-organized religion. Mostly this was based on some terrible things that occurred at the church I grew up in, right as I was leaving for college. Basically, we had a wonderful minister. A really great guy with a very open and caring heart. He was very good at what he did, but some people started to decide that there were not enough butts in the seat. That, of course, is how many churches judge their clergy. Not how caring are there, or how well they guide their parish to spiritual fulfillment, but by how many people they can get in the door and how much cash gets put in the plate. I know these things are important, I know that thought needs to be put into Outreach, but when it becomes the sole goal of a congregation, it becomes spiritually bankrupt.
Anyway, a group in the congregation decided this minister was not growing the church to their satisfaction, so they drove him out. Literally drove him out. A man who had occasionally donated his entire annual salary back to the church in times of need was drummed out because new people were not joining fast enough. And who was the replacement? A charasmatic preacher, not charasmatic in an ultra-conservative sense, but someone young and loud who spoke to the "young". And the old people loved him because they thought this new style would grow the church by leaps and bounds. And for a while it did, although several people, myself included, could not shake the creepy feeling we got from him. Creepy feelings which were justified when it came out that he was molesting woman in his office. So, a scandal erupted, and there was a meeting of the congregation, and the church argued over whether to fire this guy or not. Now, as if needing to discuss it was not sick enough, a very large group of people stood up and said we can't fire him, he is bringing in new members. To some, a minister who molests woman who come to him for spiritual advice is fine as long as there are BUTTS IN SEATS... I truthfully believe the minister would have stayed had not one couple, long time members of the church who were liked by everyone, tearfully recounted how, when they found out they could not concieve a child, and they went to the minister for spiritual comfort, and his response was to wink and say "Well, Let me know if I can help." A sick man.
So, the sexual harasser left the church (And numerous church members followed him) and was replaced by another preacher. Less charasmatic, but youngish and someone with experience presiding over mammoth sized churches. Now this guy came in with an agenda to create a huge church, a church with that advertised on enormous billboards with his face on them. He took the Churches endowment fund (several million dollars) and decided to build a youth complex for the children of San Antonio, as an outreach effort to the young. A noble sounding goal, only one problem. The church is located in Downtown San Antonio, very close to poverty stricken neighborhoods that need all the help they can get. Places that are desperate to give children an alternative to crime and gangs. But the minister had different ideas. He spent the endowment fund on a youth complex in Northwest San Antonio, miles and miles away from the church, where all the rich, white kids live. The complex was not about helping people in need, it was about getting BUTTS IN SEATS, and more importantly, RICH BUTTS IN SEATS.
So, I left religion behind me. I had no use for people who acted as though the highest spiritual awareness came from a full church offering plate. I toyed with other religions for a bit, but nothing clicked with me. Finally, I forced myself to consider that having no religion was better than organized religion. This was a difficult decision for me because I do believe in the importance of spirituality and religion in life (It matters not a whit which religion, just a community and time set aside to ponder our spiritual lives) but I finally gave up on religion altogether.
Then I married an Episcopalian, and I started to go to her churches, and started to enjoy myself. Shocking. I had never tried an Episcopal Church before (and truthfully, I kind of labored under the stereotype that it was the Rich People's church) and it felt right for many reasons. Partially, because the service is not dedicated to "saving souls." You get baptized when you are a baby and after that, church is there to help you. I realize I am simplifying centuries of theological thought, but that is my perception of how the church operates, and it works for me. So, I am a church goer again, and my church's openness and honest caring have a lot to do with it.
